Writing/NoSeeChrome

 “NoSeeChrome” by Brian Everett Miller

Do you suffer from a fear of chrome? Do you have trouble in theme parks, appliance stores, or the homes of fancy friends?

NoSeeChrome is here to help!

At NoSeeChrome, we understand the daily struggles of the chrome affected – the missed opportunities, awkward dating situations, and that time at the car show.

Main stream medical research toiled for years to understand what causes a fear of chrome, then they got distracted by cancer. The truth is nobody knows. Maybe it’s a lack of sleep, not eating enough vegetables, or masturbating too much. Maybe it goes back to your childhood? Let’s face it, most things do.

Regardless of the cause or that it’s probably your fault, doesn’t a cure sound marvelous? What wouldn’t you give to finally be able to tour the home of Pablo Escobar or run off to Vegas with your chrome non affected mistress. You are not alone, many are suffering in silence from this horrible ailment that society treats like no big deal. How much chrome is really out there anyway they say?  Well you know that any amount of chrome is too much chrome when it’s affecting your ability to enjoy yourself in a nightclub bathroom. Thank god that NoSeeChrome has come along!

While the mainstream doctors were preoccupied with their cash cow cancer, our dedicated researchers at the NoSeeChrome Labs in Odessa Ukraine were hard at work on a life changing cure for the forgotten men and women who really deserve it.

So what’s the cure? 

It’s so simple you won’t believe it!

Permanent blindness. Yes it’s true! You can now be free of chrome induced panic forever using the breakthrough method that’s so effective the medical profession doesn’t want you to know about it.

So how does it work?

NoSeeChrome is an easy to use manual self application aerosol that safely causes irreversible blindness. It has been proven effective in eradicating the fear of chrome even in the most severe cases. The chrome is still there, you just don’t see it.

But isn’t it hard to be blind?

Only til you get used to it. You’ll get used to it. And just think how great it will be to never again have to worry about chrome or having a job. Plus you can finally get that dog you always wanted that your landlord said you couldn’t have.

But couldn’t I just close my eyes instead?
You could, but you won’t. And as you well know it’s so hard to tell when or where you might see chrome. But with NoSeeChrome you can rest easy knowing you’ll never see chrome anywhere ever again! We guarantee it!

Order now and we’ll throw in a free cane! Hey that’s cool! Pick up the phone and start living a chrome free life with the aide of loved ones and the government all thanks to the miracle that is NoSeeChrome – from the makers of I Can’t Believe it’s Real Blood and Kill Yourself in a Can.